Home...

I love DC for many reasons and being home for the holidays reassures my love...Overheard...

Metro Behaving BadlyOn the Green Line at Chinatown:

About 10:30 p.m. on Tuesday a guy gets on selling CD's.

Guy in a loud voice: "CDs... DVDs... I got the latest hits. Anyone want to buy some
CDs?"
(Silence)
"CDs... DVDs..."
(Silence)
"I got PORNOS. Get your pornos..."
(No response, a few people chuckle)
"I got MIDGET pornos y'all..."
(Laughter from a few folks, but no buyers.)
"I got midget pornos... Get your midget pornos..."
(Still no buyers.)
"No one wants midget pornos? Alright then, I've got Barack Obama T-shirts, cause it's time for a change!"
(The train erupts in laughter)

Regarding Matters Of National Security

In Crystal City:

An early- to mid-40s male walking down Crystal Drive, talking on a cell phone:

Guy, loudly into the phone: "(Name), the weapons are fine..."
(pause)
Shouting into the phone while holding it in front of his mouth: "I SAID THE WEAPONS ARE FINE! THEY ARRIVED SAFELY!"

Sometimes...

Sometimes and mostly this year, especially when you get stalked by paparazzi while Christmas shopping with your kid on a Saturday, this is how I feel about this town I live in...

1. Take a big fat shit.
2. Wrap it up in some nice shiney gold tin foil.
3. Put a Louis Vuitton bow around it.
4. Inject it with botox
5. Tell everyone its 30 instead of 45 days old.
5. And finally, have your drug dealer and therapist drive it over in their Bentley to hand out at your Country/Beach/Whatever Club, while you sit at home drinking a Vodka and Vicodin cocktail and fucking the pool boy....

LA is so stereotypical it's like living in a fucking really BAD 80's movie...